Why women love romance and why some men are so bad at it

by mark.tyrrell

Why women love romance

They’re both really attractive, in a cutesy kind of way. They’re meant to be together. We, mere strangers in a movie theatre, chomping popcorn like witless cud-chewing bovines, know they’re meant to be together. So why in the name of all things Jennifer Aniston don’t they know they’re meant to be together!

Romance isn’t dead, or shouldn’t be” courtesy of musicalwds

Misunderstandings roll, cute things happen, zany best friends glide in and out, you check your watch, no CGI explosions occur (there might be the odd “humorous” fist fight) and finally these two lovable bright-toothed dimwits realize they were always meant to be together. What a relief for all of us. Now we can go home. The Rom Com is over, thank you very much and goodnight. But is that the end of it for you?

Romantic Comedies: The Dark Side!

Personally I feel all rom-coms should carry health warnings because of the testosterone-depleting effects they can have on men. Okay here’s a secret; I admit it. I have enjoyed the odd rom-com begrudgingly. Is that wrong?

But it seems these movies really could damage your relationships. Research has found that viewing a rom-com can make people feel less appreciative of their partner and less loving toward them (1). Expectations get unrealistically raised and reality bites and it isn’t sexy. But is this new?

Frog-kissing, slipper-fitting, castle-living fun

Popular media has always moulded notions of how romance and relationships “should” be. Traditional fairy tales, read literally, seem to propagate an idealized version of romance.

On cue with a little understanding from the beautiful girl our frog turns into a handsome prince with a private trust fund. Or the situation seems hopeless, all is chaos with wicked step sisters and the like, but somehow, through destiny, the prince finds his bride, the slipper fits, and everybody gets the “happily ever after” we all knew was coming.

But in real life the “princess” wonders why the “magic” so often happens in reverse. Kiss Prince Charming (plus a little more) and miraculously he’s transmuted into an uncommunicative, belching, couch-hogging frog. “Cinderella” takes to stalking “Prince Charming”, finds he’s married or as faithful as a rooster on heat and it all ends in tears. I don’t remember that fairy tale! So, unrealistic expectations aside where, if at all, is true romance in all of this?

Romance-the forgotten art

Genuine romance, as opposed to paid for at the movie theatre, shouldn’t be about holding perfectionist standards for our loved one or expecting smooth glamor now and always. Romantic feelings should be resilient and override the normal demands of life up to a point at least.

What is romance? You can have wonderful sex and friendship in your relationship but little or no romance. I think men fall for a woman romantically when she captures his imagination as well as his…err loins. And she will capture his imagination (as long as he has one) by responding to his romance.

So romance may be more likely to spark and burn alongside sex and friendship but somehow it’s more than those two things. A meal can be sustaining and satisfying but the “romance” of the meal is in its unique flavours.

It’s often said by women that men, most men, just aren’t romantic.

But I wonder whether this is really true.

I suspect men feel just as romantic but don’t always know how to communicate their romantic feelings. The flavor needs to be unlocked.

Men will just as often speak of love when honestly discussing their relationships. The idea that men only care about the lust part but not the deeper feelings associated with love is just not true. Romance is a feeling, a sense of unique connection with someone – a merging of spirits, but it is also a behaviour – a way of communicating. So you can feel loving and romantic but not necessarily know how to communicate that.

It’s about the gesture

I know a woman whose ex-boyfriend bought her an electric drill for her first birthday they were together. He’d assumed this would have more utilitarian value than a surprise weekend break or a painting and flowers. And he was right – an electric drill is more useful and will last longer. But romance is about:

• The gesture
• The unique symbolic meaning behind the gesture.

So what is the gesture, the meaning behind buying your loved one an electric drill? That you feel neighborly towards her? That you are a post feminist male? That the floorboards need aligning? We men might find it hard to comprehend that the less practical application a gift has the more romantic it can be.

In one survey nearly all the women sampled agreed that flowers meant more to them when they were given for no particular reason at all (2). Go figure! Or rather go buy some flowers! What makes it romantic is precisely that it doesn’t “do” anything, it represents something. It has symbolic meaning.

Here’s an important point. The guy who bought his woman an electric drill may have felt romantic toward her, so it wasn’t that he wasn’t romantic at heart it’s just that a central aspect of what romance really means to many women wasn’t on his radar.

Romance can be learned

Men may not stand around in locker rooms discussing the “lovely romantic gesture” their hot date made last night and guys don’t generally discuss rom-coms when they get together for a beer.

But the fact that men, okay some men cherish their women, love them passionately and actually like them too shows that romance is genuinely part of who they are and how they feel.

Many men are amazed how behaving more, just a bit more, romantically with a woman has such powerful affects. Romantic gestures and even words show:

• That you take the trouble to think about her and the two of you.
• That you are considerate and feel uniquely toward her.
• That however tough, manly, macho up-to-the-plate-stepping you are, you are able to be nurturing too.
• That you are able to think creatively.

Sure some men will learn to counterfeit romance in order to manipulate women, just as some women will counterfeit sexual interest in a man in order to manipulate him. Romance, to be genuine, needs to be congruent, a genuine sentiment.

These are and always will be those non transforming toads and the wicked witches of fairy tale lore.

But most people, women and men can feel true romantic sentiments and develop ways to genuinely communicate them outside of rom-com land.

Guys, if you’d like to know more about how to make yourself more attractive to women, see Mark’s course ‘10 Steps to Be Naturally Attractive to Women’.

(1) See: Volume 17 Numbers 3 & 4, 2007: IN SEARCH OF MY “ONE-AND-ONLY”:
(2) A nationwide (U.S.A.) survey conducted in 1996 found that almost all women give an unexpected gift of flowers high marks for emotional impact. In the survey, conducted by Bruskin/Goldring Research for SAF, more than nine out of 10 women (94 percent) say that flowers mean the most when they receive them as a surprise.

Enzymatic Therapy Cherry Fruit Extract

Enzymatic Therapy Cherry Fruit Extract, 90 Capsules


From: Enzymatic Therapy

Price: $9.76 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Delivery.

Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours



Cherry Fruit Extract Product Description

High-dosage joint support that promotes balanced pH. Why use a cherry fruit extract? It provides natural benefits – especially joint health in feet: Research shows that cherry fruit – rich in natural antioxidants – promotes pH balance by maintaining healthy uric acid levels already within normal range. Cherries are a rich source of flavonoids, natural compounds that are most widely recognized for their potent antioxidant activity. In fact, anthocyanins flavonoids isolated from cherries have been shown to possess antioxidant capabilities superior to vitamin E. This powerful free radical scavenging capacity has broad ranging health implications for the immune, cardiovascular, and musculoskeletal systems. Additionally, cherries have also been shown to support the body's natural anti-inflammatory response.


Product Details

  • Brand: Enzymatic
  • Model:



  • 90 Capsules
  • Serving Size: 2 Capsules
  • 45 Servings Per Container

There Is a Cure for Diabetes:The Tree of Life 21-Day Program

There Is a Cure for Diabetes: The Tree of Life 21-Day+ Program


From: North Atlantic Books

Price: $13.57 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Delivery.

Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours



There Is a Cure for Diabetes Product Description

Diabetes has become a seemingly unstoppable national epidemic, affecting more than twenty million Americans. Conventional wisdom calls it incurable, but renowned Dr. Gabriel Cousens counters that claim with this breakthrough book. There Is a Cure for Diabetes lays out a three-week plan for reversing the negative genetic expression of diabetes to a physiology of health and well-being. Dr. Cousens’s method, widely tested at his famous Tree of Life centers, is to reset the DNA through green juice fasting and a 100% organic, nutrient-dense, vegan, low-glycemic, low-insulin-scoring, and high-mineral diet of living foods in the first twenty-one days. Both practical and inspirational, the book explains how to abandon the widespread “culture of death”–symbolized by addictive junk food–that fosters diabetes in favor of a more natural, nurturing approach. The program renders insulin and related medicines unnecessary within four days as the blood sugar drops to normal levels; and the diabetic shifts into a non-diabetic physiology within two weeks. The third week focuses on live-food preparation, featuring 100 delicious raw recipes. Dr. Cousens emphasizes regular consultations, monitoring blood chemistries, and emotional support, and includes a one-year support program to help maintain a diabetes-free life.


The Veterinarians’ Guide to Natural Remedies for Dogs

The Veterinarians' Guide to Natural Remedies for Dogs: Safe and Effective Alternative Treatments and Healing Techniques from the Nations Top Holistic Veterinarians


From: Crown

Price: $14.95




Product Description

The world of veterinary medicine is changing. People are realizing that if alternative medicine is better for them, it's better for their pets, too. Dogs are visiting acupuncturists, chiropractic doctors, and homeopaths. Still, many dog owners are unaware that such simple measures as changing their pet's diet and using vitamins, herbs, and other natural cures can help prevent or heal ailments ranging from excessive scratching to depression to a host of serious diseases.

The Veterinarians' Guide to Natural Remedies for Dogs is both an introduction and a guide to the vast world of natural healing methods, treatments, and foods now available for dogs. Author Martin Zucker offers advice from dozens of holistic practitioners and licensed veterinarians, who share their recipes, insights, and “prescriptions.” Here dog owners will find information on everything from nutritional supplements to massage therapy, as well as how these treatments can be used alone or in conjunction with traditional medications and surgical techniques.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Ginger – 10 Health Benefits

There are numerous health benefits of Ginger

It is one of the world's seven most potent disease-fighting spices. Ginger has been widely regarded for centuries as a natural remedy for a diversity of health problems. Watch this video to find out why and how ginger can help you.


The Green Pharmacy Guide to Healing Foods

The Green Pharmacy Guide to Healing Foods: Proven Natural Remedies to Treat and Prevent More Than 80 Common Health Concerns


From: Rodale Books

Price: $8.80 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Delivery.

Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours



The Green Pharmacy Guide to Healing Foods Product Description


Upon its publication more than a decade ago, Dr. James Duke’s The Green Pharmacy quickly set the standard for consumer herb references. A favorite of laypeople and professionals alike, the book sold more than a million copies and solidified the author’s reputation as one of the world’s foremost authorities on medicinal plants.
In his new book, Dr. Duke turns to the broader and even more popular subject of food as medicine, drawing on more than thirty years of research to identify the most powerful healing foods on earth. Whether he is revealing how to beat high cholesterol with blueberries, combat hot flashes with black beans, bash blood sugar spikes with almonds, or help relieve agonizing back pain with pineapple, Dr. Duke’s food remedies help treat and prevent the whole gamut of health concerns, from minor (such as sunburn and the common cold) to more serious (like arthritis and diabetes).
Dr. Duke has assigned a rating to each remedy, according to his evaluation of the available scientific studies and anecdotal reports. Many of the healing foods recommended here are proving so effective that they may outperform popular pharmaceuticals—minus the risk (and cost).


Home Privacy Policy Terms Of Use Medical Disclaimer Anti Spam Policy Contact Us The Green Pharmacy Guide to Healing Foods Amazon Affiliate Disclaimer DMCA Earnings Disclaimer